Kill (3)

- ...i hate it when i fall into that vortex of confusion .... of not knowing ....of having all the ideas in my mind... yet i am unable to make any sens out of it ... i shouldn't have come here in the first place ... i mean ... a simple " routine psychological evaluation " requested for work ... i should have said :"no " i was OK and stable and everything was clear in my head ... until i came here ....


- you are the first one who wants to kill herself and still thinks that she is stable ...

- ....you won't understand ....

- try me ...

- is this another way to buy sometime  .... one more week ?

- no ... it is just an offer ... why don't you try ...

- because i don't want to get disappointed ... i will not survive another disappointment ...actually your trial to buy me more time ... can end up speeding up my " big escape plan " ....

- i think you are a lot stronger that you believe .. and i know i think you should take the risk ... i think i am worth it ...

- .... you are not aware of what you are saying ... you shouldn't say this ... you sound like you care....

- i do care

- ...no you don't .... it is just pity .... or may be you are just afraid .... you don't want to lose a patient ... it is not good for you reputation as a psychiatrist ....

- or may be i care.... you can never tell ...

- .... i can never tell .... and  i can't consider this possibility ...

- why ?

- it is not my right .... i just can't ....because  the " i care " that i know ... is a lot different from the " i care that you say  ...

- you don't know that either ... you don't know me ...

- and i will never get to know you ... i will keep believing things  that are not there... i will keep projecting ... it is in my mind where the problem lies ...

- i think it is up to me to tell whether or not there is a problem in your mind ...

- whatever ...

- last time you left and you didn't say what you are going to do ...

- will you believe me if i told you ...

- yes ...

- see you next week doctor...