Normal …

I will never forget this guy… we were on the bus heading to the beach…it was around sunset… he hopped on… he didn’t sit… he just stood there by the window…at the last stop… the beach stop …we all left the bus… and most of us headed to the metal fence and just stood there watching the sand … and the sea… him too… he moved slowly… he stood there… watching… breathing…holding the oxygen tank that’s connected to the thin tubes going through his nose…and which he pulls around wherever and whenever he goes...seconds later… he turned to cross the street and enter the hospital that was overlooking the water …leaving one idea lingering in my mind… how can I ever use “ it is my normal human right …” as an argument for anything that I want or hope for …

...perception ....

Perception (from the Latin perceptio, percipio) is the organization, identification and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the environment … I flip the pages of my diary and I notice how my handwriting is different from time to time… I can’t help wonder:” is it a personality change that I should be concerned about? Or is it simply the way of my holding the pen and the state of my hand muscles…” ....yet, handwriting is not the one and only thing that can judge a personality change… I see my reactions, my behavior, and my responses to different situations… they are not always the same… but then again I think it is normal…. I am not a machine….and my actions are not reflexes… ....I can’t be the same person all the time….even in the simplest actions… driving for example… if I am going to work … in the very early morning, and I am late… then I am this silly person who insists to pass first ….if it is a day off then I am the very nice person who stops to let the people on their feet pass… ....I look back and see how I was able to work and do many things and I see myself now trying to put some words together… I am slow….my handwriting is terrible… and the ideas are like rushing away from my mind… I tell myself this is not who I am … it is just because we are at the beginning… .....Passing to another level… a deeper one… and unfortunately a worse one…where perception is a lot harder… because the incoming data are so not enough.... the responses become more and more gapped according to the state of mind that I experience…. Recently I have been thinking that I have the mind of a child… the face of a young girl and the body of a very old person…and it adds more and more to the confusion … Eventually I come to the very old conclusion…. There is no absolute truth…. It is either the truth that we perceive or the truth that we chose to believe….which is again defined by who we are … and we are not the same person all the time… we can’t be…we get old… we become mature… or at least we bounce between the major mood swings