kill (10) part two .. finale

- ..... i don't believe you ... you cannot be him ...

- I am Sarah ...

- .... no you are not ... you are simply trying to make sense of all this non-sense ... you are trying to give this whole story a meaning ... while it has no meaning ...

- slow down and breath ...please

- .... don't tell me to breath ... i .... know .....what ............ you are ....... trying to do .....

- OK ... just slow down ... the only way to make stop talking is that i keep talking ... so i will keep talking and you will listen ... i will tell the details of each and every day you came to the hospital ... the perfume you were every time ... the books you read ... the stories you told me about yourself ... well ... you didn't say much about yourself ... but i do remember everything ... i can tell you all the details i told you about myself ... i can ...

- no ...

- what?

- don't ... even if you tell everything ... may be you were his psychiatrist and somehow he told you everything ... and now you are using his story ... you are using the information you know ...

- how can you say this?

- this is what makes sense to me ...   if you were him ... if you cared as half as you say you do ... you would have found a way to find me ...

- i didn't know i would cause such a damage ...

- well you didn't ... i am the one with the problem ... the one who is not balanced ...

- please Sarah ...

- don't you see ... the more you try to convince me that you are him ... the more damage you cause ... you are going to make me believe in something which will turn up to be fake ... and this time i will not survive ... another disappointment .... if you are as talented as you think you are ... you would know that ...

- i understand your confusion ...

- no you don't ... you lose ... either way ... you lose ... if you are him ... there is nothing that can justify your absence all this time ... except admitting that you don't care ... which is something you are not doing ... if you are not him ... then you are a terrible psychiatrist that is not trust worthy ... ans who manipulates people's feelings ... and i know i can't be sure who you really are ... so i chose to believe that you are not him ... and i will just go ...

- Sarah .. wait ... you can't go ... you don't know the whole truth ... you cannot judge me ... isn't this what you used to say ...

- great ... now you are using my argument against me ...

- i am not ... i am trying to speak a language you can understand ... i am not a bas person Sarah ... i didn't dump you ... i care about you ... and deep down you know that ... that's why you kept wearing the locket ... you are just afraid to believe ...

- .....


- i too kept something you gave me ... your favorite prayer ... you wrote it down one day ... and you gave it to me ... you said that i will read it when they fix my eyes ... when i see again ... this is your hand writing ...

- .....

-  it is me ... Sarah ... and deep down you know it ...

- i don't want to believe it ...i can't believe it ...

- why?

- i told you  ... i won't survive another disappointment ... one day i will call and you won't pick up .. i would need you and you won't be there... and i just know ... i will not survive that ...

- you don't know that ....

- yes ... but i can't take the risk ... one more damage and it is irreversible ... no coming back ...

- i understand that ... so now what ?

- i need to go home... and rest ...

- would you come next week ?

- i don't  know ...

- i will be waiting for you Sarah ...

kill (10) part one

- .... i don't have a person ....

-i don't understand.

- in one of the work application ... there was a space to write the number of "the emergency person " ... you know the one person they should call in case something went wrong ...it was optional ... i gave her the form and ... in a second the fact that i always knew ... but was somehow trying to avoid ... or pretend that i am OK with it ... is that i don't have a person ...

- please try not to cry ... it will make it harder to breath ...

- .... can't you understand ? it doesn't matter ... I don't matter ... the people that i reached out for ... the people i cared about ... and made it crystal clear for them ... that i care ... the people that i loved. ... no one care ... if i still belong to this world ... or not ... it is the same for them ...and it hurts ... you have no idea how much it hurts ... and how much it hurts to pretend that it doesn't hurt and that it is OK ...

- that's why you wanted to kill yourself ? to see who cares?

- no ... if i wanted to kill myself because i was sure no one would be affected ... no one would even notice ....

- you are wrong ...

- don't try to convince me of something that i know is not true ... and if you are talking about yourself ... please don't ... you are an exception ... simply an exception... and i will not be stupid enough to take an exception for a regular truth ...

- you don't know that ...

- i can't handle another disappointment ...i won't survive another disappointment ...

- you are still holding that locket?

- yes ... he was my biggest disappointment ... disappear just like that ...

- he was a key witness in a military trial ... he was hiding in the hospital ... they tried to kill him ... again ... they took him away to save his life ... there was no way he would leave a trace for you ... but when everything was over  ... he tried to look for you .., but he couldn't find you ...

- what are you talking about ... is this some kind of psychological trick ?

- no i am telling you the truth ... just like the truth about the locket  you are wearing ... the one he designed ... and made only one copy of it ... one unique copy ... that he gave to one unique person ... one unique voice that kept  reading for him for hours and  saved him form the darkness that was sucking life out of him ...

- how come you know all that ... it was just me and him ....

- yes ... just you and him ... and here you are ....

- which makes you ....him?

- yes ...

- i don't believe you ...

Kill (9)

- you definitely look better ...

- ... thank you ... i am still breathing ....

-yeah... you want to talk about it?

- .... about what ?

- how you ended up in the intensive care...

- ......... no

- OK

- ... it is still not that easy to talk  ...

- i understand ...

- .... i don't know ... i was walking ... then everything went dark ... all the voices so far away ...  and ... i don't know .........

- you were bleeding ... you were not taking your medication and you started bleeding ... your lungs were filled with blood and you couldn't breath

- .... yeah ... so you know ...

- yes

-.... but i am taking my medication now ...

-i know ... you should keep taking it ...

- .... i will ....

- i know you will .... so now what ?

- ...... can i stay till the end of the session ... just like that

- sure ... and more if you want ...

- .... no just till my time is up ... and i will come next week  ...

- and i will be waiting for you