For a few days I found myself unable to write...and I hated being in that state, which seemed to be still lingering in my mind. I can see that as I deleted and rewrote the previous sentence more than once. But I will write… nothing specific… it is just to prove to myself that I am still capable of writing.
It could be the stress, the numerous tasks that need to be done, or the excitement about the beginning of the school year. I feel I am a child! I keep preparing my books, my notes, and my new pens and pencils, and at a moment I will have all these stuff very well packed in my bag , so that I won’t forget anything before I leave tomorrow morning.
Or maybe it is the many ideas that got stuck in my mind and that I still can’t deal with… ideas that I realized once I started thinking about my life from a different perspective ….
Ideas mainly about myself … and how I behave … yet it seems to be always coming back to the same conclusions.... like there is no perfect formula that can work with everybody, in all the situation, all the time… every case is unique… and every person has his own nature… and there is no way that one can tell what is going in the other’s mind… and there is no way that anyone can tell what is going on in my mind… so it is my responsibility to come clear about things that matter … and I will not do the same mistake and believe something about someone and go on completely convinced that this is the truth… I will not subject them to the same injustice that I went through… or to be honest… the injustice that I put myself in every time I kept silent and went to wipe all by myself…. I ask and I expect an honest answer… and from myself I hope I will be clearer expressing myself… again not every formula works with everyone all the time... but i think that this is what should be done when it comes to somehting that really matters.
The reason I brought this up is because a friend of mine told me about a situation where her daughter behaved in a way that most people will see as disrespectful or not accepted … but as I see the contrast between what she did, and what I would have done if I were to be in her position… I sort of admire her …
I didn’t reread what I wrote, I am not ready to delete it and write it again… I just hope that it made sense …
Friday, September 14, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
... in treatment ...
Recently I have been following “in treatment”, a TV series about a psychologist, Dr. Paul Weston, and how he gets too engaged with his patients’ problems.
After a week off, he gets back to his practice, and he meets April, a 23 year-old girl who is studying architecture.
For more than once April tried to know why he cancelled their last session, but Paul wouldn’t say.
The maximum stress point was when she told him that her next chemotherapy was the following day, and he asked her who would go with her. Her smile faded, she looked at him and said:” you…”
He started to explain why he can’t go with her, and why he can’t be her therapist and her care giver at the same time. She started to get angry… she couldn’t understand that the first time he had to take her though no one forced him… she couldn’t understand that she didn’t have time and that he couldn’t stand and watch her slip away. “You are dropping me” she said as she was lying on the couch, with a breath that was almost stopped by the excruciating pain from the port she had in her heart.
“No “he said “I am not dropping you April ….”
“Yes you are… I was so scared last week… I needed you and you cancelled our session”
Paul was about to tell her, but all he could manage to say was: “… I had a family emergency…”
But that lame excuse only made things worse, she let a thigh and said: “what happened? Did your dog die?”
“No ….. My father” he finally said.
And those were the magic words that put an end to all the drama. April pulled herself up to sit, she was breathing normally, talking normally….
That was the episode that engaged me with the series… it was so touching and so true… and it presented something that I witness and sometimes go through and it really gets to me.
People keep judging each other and they don’t stop until they get an excuse, which is, from their point of view, a valid one ….again… from their point of view …… which is simply unfair
After a week off, he gets back to his practice, and he meets April, a 23 year-old girl who is studying architecture.
For more than once April tried to know why he cancelled their last session, but Paul wouldn’t say.
The maximum stress point was when she told him that her next chemotherapy was the following day, and he asked her who would go with her. Her smile faded, she looked at him and said:” you…”
He started to explain why he can’t go with her, and why he can’t be her therapist and her care giver at the same time. She started to get angry… she couldn’t understand that the first time he had to take her though no one forced him… she couldn’t understand that she didn’t have time and that he couldn’t stand and watch her slip away. “You are dropping me” she said as she was lying on the couch, with a breath that was almost stopped by the excruciating pain from the port she had in her heart.
“No “he said “I am not dropping you April ….”
“Yes you are… I was so scared last week… I needed you and you cancelled our session”
Paul was about to tell her, but all he could manage to say was: “… I had a family emergency…”
But that lame excuse only made things worse, she let a thigh and said: “what happened? Did your dog die?”
“No ….. My father” he finally said.
And those were the magic words that put an end to all the drama. April pulled herself up to sit, she was breathing normally, talking normally….
That was the episode that engaged me with the series… it was so touching and so true… and it presented something that I witness and sometimes go through and it really gets to me.
People keep judging each other and they don’t stop until they get an excuse, which is, from their point of view, a valid one ….again… from their point of view …… which is simply unfair
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