Cursed

…Sara was wandering in the streets, thinking about the curse that did and will keep hunting her. That memory that steels away almost every moment to be lost in thinking about whether or not what once happened, and was not meant to last, was as real as she believed. Wasting her attention, as she scans the faces around her and wonders why her friend's face is not one of them.

Yet, as much as she was hoping for a coincidence that would help her see her friend once for real, she was afraid that if this coincidence happens, her friend wouldn't remember her…or even worse, would recognize her and turn the other way.

Cursed she thought…and she hoped if all this would stop…she wished she could be free…
But it is not easy to be free from the one good thing that happened to her. She can't turn away from that fading light that managed to survive despite the darkness. That one thing that seems to be a bless

it is time....

it is time to do what i want... i will get dressed and go out. i will button my coat, wrap the scarf tightly around my neck, and walk till forever...
i will walk and walk... i will meet the people that i miss... i will see them once for real.... i will hear their voice and shake their hand... i will let the life be in me.

i will walk and walk...free... i won't worry about anything... i won't let the absence of the sun make me insecure...i will let the life be in me... all with a black ink pen, and some white papers..

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Most people don't really mean what they say. Those who does, you find out later that what they meant was something completely different from what you understood.

The moment when I realize the gap between what I believe and what is really happening is one of the things that scare me the most. I try to prepare myself for everything, and anything,yet, I find myself in another dilemma. If I get to choose, will I prefer to know the real truth? Or i will keep my beliefs? I am not sure if I will be strong enough to deal with the fact that I have such a judgment defect
It is like when someone shakes you, punches you in the stomach and tells you:" what are you? An idiot? What were you thinking? Where has your mind gone? And you feel all the guilt and the shame because, unfortunately that voice that's blaming you, is completely right...

Yet, I can't live with the conspiracy theory being the explanation of everything that happens in my life.
I will just keep in mind that, as a part of human nature, people say things that they don't really mean. And, everything doesn't really mean to them as much as it does to me…. May be it is my problem after all…. I should take things lightly…I will try… though I know that I can't

:-)

Simple things that people do and which, unintentionally and positively affects other people is one of the things that I can't stop admiring.

I go for a walk and something on the floor catches my eye. I gradually figure out what it is. The store implanted the covers of coca cola bottle in the cement of the platform, to write its name, a welcome and a little smiley face.
It was a very simple publicity, yet, because it got my attention, it was able to give me a moment away from all the concerns and the worries, and it made me smile.

Somehow I felt that it was on the floor for the ones who walk looking down…the ones who are upset or have the head loaded with many things that they can't enjoy walking and watching the people and the cars.

Or the day I was going to get some stuff, and before I turn on the engine, a lady, who has just parked looks at and says:" don't take the main road, it is blocked, I was stuck there for over an hour"
She was a stranger, she didn't know me, yet she was human enough to warn me.


Or when I was coming out of a parking and I saw a lady with a little boy trying to cross so i stopped, but the boy, who was still afraid wouldn't walk, so the guard came to stop right in front of my car so the boy can be sure that I won't move, and he smiles to the boy who safely crosses and turns to thank me for waiting.
Or the day I was stuck in the rush hour listening to a wonderful soundtrack that someone once recommended, it was my one companion that helped me through the way.

Simple things that people do, and which unintentionally and positively affects other people make my believe in human beings get stronger.

One precious moment…

It is really wired how a couple of music notes can have such a tremendous effect when you accidently hear them… they have the power to take you away to a completely different world, or even better, to a place where you once were happy and grateful.
It is that moment when you let go everything, and hold on to that nourishing effect, so that it would last as much as it can.
You let the music speak in your head, reminding you of how lucky you were, telling you that life can hold something good for you.
You let yourself live that memory one more time as if it was true.

One precious hour….

It is the evening … a long day of work ended. It doesn't happen frequently, but somehow, that day; most of the missions were accomplished.

Tired…but happy that the battle against the flue ended with the defeat of the virus. It couldn't stop the everyday routine and eventually most of the items in the "to do list" were barred.

The regular beats announce the beginning of a new hour....
Tired… but happy… they were only eight beats… … still one hour left… one hour that is completely yours, may be the only hour that was truly yours. may be another page of that absorbing book will be a good companion… with some music … or something lovely on TV…it could be a good time to call and ask about a friend… many things can share that hour …and whatever the choice …it will be a good one… but make sure that it is truly yours.