I find it really strange how some people can have such a special place in our heart no matter what they do.
Like and old school friend who remembers you and calls to ask about you and makes you sit on the ground and listen to a very long conversation without feeling bored, and without feeling that you can ever have enough of this wonderful talk.
Or the person who helped you in the very beginning of your career and kept advising you and guiding you all through the way. Or the person who believed in you in the first place, and trusted you with a big task knowing that you will do your best to get the job done. Or the person who helped you and gave you a chance to train for a while, and try the job before you make a decision about what you will spend the rest of your life doing. Or the person who cared enough and was patient enough to teach you something that made you feel useful. a wonderful feeling that can pull you out of a severe depression and save you. Or the person who was fair with you and from the very first beginning treated you well and made sure that the work gets equally distributed to all the members of the group. Or the person who is kind to everyone and who treats everybody with all the decency and the respect.
In a word the person who has the magical power to touch your life and make it better.
This person exist in a way or another in our life, and this existence is what gives a meaning to the non-sense
i was lucky that some of these people's path crossed mine, i wish i could tell who they are but i feel i don't have the right to do so without their permission.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Portrait
Nothing can match the charm of an evening at the opera house. I am looking forward to the day when the streets will be safe again so that I can go to the soirée performance as I used to.
I remember one evening when we arrived earlier than usual. We had the chance to walk around the main hall and watch the Cairo tower with all its colored lights, and I had the chance to visit a painting gallery. There I saw a very beautiful picture. I saw something in it that touched my heart. It was a combination of different colors with no definite outlines. For me it was an expression of a deep confusion mixed with a strange stability. I will be honest, I couldn't afford to buy it, so I secretly took a picture of it with my mobile so that I can keep a very little bit of this piece of art.
The reaction of my friend, to whom I showed this picture, was completely shocking. “How can you like something like that?” my friend said “don't you see how violent and aggressive it is?”
Violent! Aggressive! How come my friend saw all this and I looked at the same picture and saw something completely different.
I tried to prove my point, but I found no convincing argument. Eventually I said: “you can't say that this is what the artist wanted to say, you can never tell what was in his mind while he painted this”
“You are right” my friend said, “YOU, also can't tell what was in his mind…..”
I got it, no one can know for sure. I won't deny it, I didn't dare to show this picture to anyone, but I never deleted it. To me this picture meant something, and I believed it, and I can't feel any different about it… to me it will always be as I saw it, pure and true
I remember one evening when we arrived earlier than usual. We had the chance to walk around the main hall and watch the Cairo tower with all its colored lights, and I had the chance to visit a painting gallery. There I saw a very beautiful picture. I saw something in it that touched my heart. It was a combination of different colors with no definite outlines. For me it was an expression of a deep confusion mixed with a strange stability. I will be honest, I couldn't afford to buy it, so I secretly took a picture of it with my mobile so that I can keep a very little bit of this piece of art.
The reaction of my friend, to whom I showed this picture, was completely shocking. “How can you like something like that?” my friend said “don't you see how violent and aggressive it is?”
Violent! Aggressive! How come my friend saw all this and I looked at the same picture and saw something completely different.
I tried to prove my point, but I found no convincing argument. Eventually I said: “you can't say that this is what the artist wanted to say, you can never tell what was in his mind while he painted this”
“You are right” my friend said, “YOU, also can't tell what was in his mind…..”
I got it, no one can know for sure. I won't deny it, I didn't dare to show this picture to anyone, but I never deleted it. To me this picture meant something, and I believed it, and I can't feel any different about it… to me it will always be as I saw it, pure and true
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Breakable
I like long “to do lists” they give me a chance to be proud of myself when I finish all the tasks….that if I managed to finish them, which doesn't really happen…. But until then it gives me a chance to get absorbed in something useful.
It is a very efficient way to fight the silly ideas. The ideas that keep insisting to force themselves in my mind and slice it over and over. The stupid trial to make sense of the meaningless.
I hate myself every time I fall into that trap. I shouldn't let anything stop me from properly functioning. I know I shouldn't but I don't manage to do that all the times.
Out of nowhere I find myself in that cursed situation. I who lived believing that I am a strong person who went through a lot, who though was immune, find myself fragile enough to be broken by simple, probably meaningless, actions.
Did I do that to myself? Am I really that shallow person?
I don't think so….
Now I remember every time I dared to take a chance, every time I believed in something, every time I held on to something good and made sure I get the most out of it despite my clear knowledge that change is the inevitable fact of life, I remember that and I know I am not a fragile person…
And every time I don't let anything stop me from properly functioning I know that I am a strong person…
It is a very efficient way to fight the silly ideas. The ideas that keep insisting to force themselves in my mind and slice it over and over. The stupid trial to make sense of the meaningless.
I hate myself every time I fall into that trap. I shouldn't let anything stop me from properly functioning. I know I shouldn't but I don't manage to do that all the times.
Out of nowhere I find myself in that cursed situation. I who lived believing that I am a strong person who went through a lot, who though was immune, find myself fragile enough to be broken by simple, probably meaningless, actions.
Did I do that to myself? Am I really that shallow person?
I don't think so….
Now I remember every time I dared to take a chance, every time I believed in something, every time I held on to something good and made sure I get the most out of it despite my clear knowledge that change is the inevitable fact of life, I remember that and I know I am not a fragile person…
And every time I don't let anything stop me from properly functioning I know that I am a strong person…
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