Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Most people don't really mean what they say. Those who does, you find out later that what they meant was something completely different from what you understood.

The moment when I realize the gap between what I believe and what is really happening is one of the things that scare me the most. I try to prepare myself for everything, and anything,yet, I find myself in another dilemma. If I get to choose, will I prefer to know the real truth? Or i will keep my beliefs? I am not sure if I will be strong enough to deal with the fact that I have such a judgment defect
It is like when someone shakes you, punches you in the stomach and tells you:" what are you? An idiot? What were you thinking? Where has your mind gone? And you feel all the guilt and the shame because, unfortunately that voice that's blaming you, is completely right...

Yet, I can't live with the conspiracy theory being the explanation of everything that happens in my life.
I will just keep in mind that, as a part of human nature, people say things that they don't really mean. And, everything doesn't really mean to them as much as it does to me…. May be it is my problem after all…. I should take things lightly…I will try… though I know that I can't