Sunday, May 17, 2015

Kill (7)

- tell me about this locket

- .......my locket? what do you want to know about it ?

- whatever you want to tell me about it

- .... it is mine ....

- you have quite a strange taste ...what is it? that design?

- ... i didn't choose it ... it was a gift ...i don't know about the design .. i didn't ask ...i did ask ... he said the design is whatever i see... i depends on me ... and how i see it ...

- your friend must be happy to see you wearing it all the time

- ....well .... since we don't meet ... he doesn't know ....

-how long?

- ...... ten years ....

- .........

- ....yes ten years and i am still wearing the locket ....ten years and i still hope a coincidence would make our path cross... do you believe how naive is that ??? i mean if by chance we meet i might not even recognize him  ...

- may be he would recognize you ...

- .....that's impossible ... he is blind ... he never saw my face ....actually that was why we met ... i used to go read for him ... what made me think we are friends ... you know what it is my mistake .... i assumed something that never existed ....

- why ? what happened ?

- .......nothing ... just nothing .....one day i went to the hospital and he was not there ... no body wanted to tell me anything about him ... after all i was not a relative. .. me coming to read to him was part of a community service ... besides ... if he wanted me to know ... he would have told me ...

- is this why you lost your faith in human beings?

- ......... oh no ........ i lost my faith in human beings looooooong ago ....ever since i was a child...whenever it came to people ... it ended up with disappointment .... i stopped believing in people way long before i knew him

-then why are you crying now? pride?

- .......no ....... i am crying because despite all the walls that i carefully built ... to protect myself ... i allowed someone to get in ..... so in .... and i ended up more hurt than ever ....because it was me who did that to myself .... i did that to myself when i let him in .......

- but you can never know what happened ... or why he left .. may be he tried to reach you  .. may be

 -oh please ... don't start ... these ideas consumed me more than you can ever imagine ... please ...enough ....i am telling you ... it was my mistake ... i had no place in his life ...i fit no where in his life........ for him i was just a passer by ... as simple as that ... it was my mistake to think we were friends .........

- and you still believe you are ... you still refer to him as your friend ...

- ......yeah ... that's my fantasy  ... the lie i hold on to... to go on ....the fact that i believe it ... doesn't make it true ...beseides my time is up ... and i have to go ........

- sarah ......

- yes

- thank you for coming today .........

- i will see you next week dr .

- next week ....

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