….the adrenaline is everywhere… attacking each and every cell of my body I keep thinking about everything…my hands are shaking… I could feel the strong pounds of my heart on the inside of my tight chest…I am not feverish… I could be on the verge of a panic attack…I wish I could just turn off my mind for a little while and rest… the problem is that all the buffering mechanisms seem to be so not functioning…. Some are even working the other way… they add to the stress …. I try to figure out what’s wrong….
...I try to cope and adapt…but it is very energy consuming… even trying to ignore or detach is exhausting… and the moment I start talking about it ... I start hearing…. Yes you are right or no you are overreacting… people starting to judge and evaluate pretending that they know everything…which adds to the stress… I know… it is my problem… I let people do what they want… say what they want and I don’t tell them what they should and shouldn’t do… I simply don’t have the right…besides if I tell someone hey I am upset because you did this or said… and assuming that he/she agreed and apologized … which is not likely to happen… how can I ever guarantee the credibility in their actions after that…
.....I let people do and say what they want …because it is the only way to know who they really are….
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