So… it is the last evening in 2012 …it is been what… three years now… yeah … about three years… seems that I am going to spend this evening finishing the work that I have to do… all the typing and all the arrangements …. It seems the only way to beat the panic that’s starting to eat me alive… I doubt that my students are worried as much as I am about the exams…. I don’t know why I feel like this… but I was hoping that if I talk about it, it will go away… It is funny… I don’t remember a time when I was truly free since this year started… every week end… every free period… even the extra days that we had off … all were spend trying to finish what seems so endless… and I wonder what else could be done… and I can’t help feeling that despite all this … I will fail…. May be I am scared because it is the only thing that I truly have… because it is my thing … the thing that I chose to do... that I love… that I always put first … that I deeply cherish… my work… I don’t know…. I don’t want to fall into that hole of confusion… I don’t want to lose my focus and my ability to function… I pray and ask for a little peace… may my brain chemistry get fixed…