what should i post?

I am writing… which means the fever is down, and I am gradually recovering
In a couple of hours it is going to be the New Year's Eve, at home of course… under the effect of the medications the most agonizing issues that my mind can actually process is what am I going to post on face book for the new year's eve!! Yeah that's one good thing about being sick, one can sit… do nothing…. Worry about nothing… and still have a very, very clear conscious.

Please help me here, it has to be something special… come on, it is the new year's eve… the time we reconnect… the chance to do and tell all that we wanted but couldn't… for all the different reasons… it represents one socially acceptable occasion to call people, to talk to people, to ask about people….

But, as many ideas rush in our mind, in an attempt to get some proper lines to say, eventually everyone sits at the table with silence having the upper hand… silence the winner….

It is not silence that won, it is the fear that lead to silence, we fear we might say the wrong words, we fear we won't do things the right way and we fear we will end up making things worse. And the more it is something that we care about, the more we are afraid.

But people's judgment shouldn't imprison us this way.

True, it is not people's judgment that matters; it is the judgment of the ones that we care about, and who happen to be some of those same people that matters. Yet, when something means a lot to us, it deserves to be taken as frankly and as honestly as possible leaving no other way for misinterpretation or misunderstanding. We keep trying and trying and we don’t stop until we manage to say what we want in a way or another, because all the kind people need to know that they are appreciated, all the generous people need to know that they are not taken for granted, all the good people who do simple things that touch our life and make it better deserve to know what they did.
As I see every moment our heart is still beating and we are still breathing a chance to do that, suddenly New Year's Eve is not so special
But I still wonder what I should post on my profile?????

??

it is the end of a long day, i can't work, and i can't sleep either, and probably i shouldn't write, or post anything, yet i will... one of the things that are really good for me, is to do what i want without thinking too much about it..

there is no absolute truth... i am repeating myself here, but i must never forget that...

sometimes we... i believe in something, and i see everything that happens a simple confirmation of whatever i believe in... as if there is one and only one way to read all these signs. and the further i go on my way, the harder it gets to move back and let go what i was perusing. I know why it is so hard to do so, it would be as if i admit that all was non sens, and all the passed time was wasted, and i was stupid enough to ignore all the possibilities and to believe in something that never existed.

and again i wonder... what difference would it make... there is nothing that can be done...it is useless to talk. after all our choices are very limited

but if things are that simple... why does it feel so bad right now??